so anyways here's what i've found out, what i've learnt.
 that everyone's got their own story to tell. but more than that, in every story, the star is also the victim.. i've heard the same story in  more than one voice, and every narrator is the sad victim.  and i know if i were to tell it i'd probably do the same too. so i guess that's what i've learnt over this past year... that people, in tellng their tragic lifestories, do not seek admiration, they seek sympathy..
So what's your sad story?

so anyways.. i thought i'd talk about a few of the words that have been part of my year, words which i've had lots attached to, or words which just happened to have this nice sound to them.

cloud- i think cloud reminds me of pepper. of looking ot things with an obscured vision, and somehow seeing things..i dunno.. differently. i think we 'll never be able to viewing the world,mour world with as much clarity if we're always so selfcentred.
benzodiazepene- i just think this is such a beautiful word. and maybe knowing what it stands for just gives me this nice feeling. and yeah, i like how tori sings it in pancake.
disintegration- yeah it's an awesome album, an awesome song, and an awesome cover, and i suppose thats why i love this word so much, and everything it stands for,
gravity- gravity has somehow become my word for reality.. i dunno., reality seems to have lost its meaning for me.. but gravity.. just seems more real.. 
vincent van gogh..
silent- more than once i've been criticised for keeping silent. perhaps that's been true, but then i gueess i'm not one of those who absolutely needs to be heard.. oh fuckit look here, for me to entirely explain myself here... whats the point eh?

ah well... hope you've had a nice time.. all the best for the year a head.. f.

in light of weddings and anniversaries to come.. here's my top five songs for weddings:
Your Hand in Mine-explosions in the sky
Always for You- the album leaf
Just Like Heaven-the cure
Is this Love- bob marley
every thug needs a lady- alkaline.

on another note, oh just get over yourself you self-centred superhero...

anyways...
i've got the bite, but not the teeth,
got the heart, but not the sleeve...
but hey...
-pip,

the mars volta in concert. three hours of pure awesomeness.. which leads me to think, how long could you hold your breath without breaking for one?

how long could you keep breathing? how long could you survive and not succumb? how long could you hold up before the cancer takes over? My deepest concolences, my dear friend. i wish i'd been there, just once. How long could you live in regret, wishing you could?

my top five 'taken over' songs?
Redemption Song
NjosNavelin
Disintegration
the end (beatles)
Comfortably NUmb

And how long could you stay silent? how long could you stay away from it? how much longer could you take? star of the night dances slowy into obscurity..

My top five 'Slow dance of pretend ignorance' songs?
Queen of Pain
Disintegration( the Converge Cover)
Vaka
Land of Some other Order
The Loudest Sound

friday. Sigur Ros .. yay...
how long could you wait??

you know, you'd never think it, until.
And you wished you were there at least, and you ask, well so what if i was. what'd you be able to do except watch as strong winds sweep up what we've built. as parting grounds swallow what we've been built upon. what'd you be able to do except watch as destruction builds up. as she crumbles..
And you hope if it 's going to be bryter layter.
you know, you'd never think it,until.

have you ever wondered how pandemics spread so quickly through populations? it's people living so damn close to one another.. makes sense doesn't it? the more congested a population, the quicker a virus spreads.
have you ever wondered how a flu virus spread so quickly amongst chickens all crammed into little boxes with low air circulation, chickens whose immunity levels are only as high as the humanity of those who put them in there. 
i'm just implying what i've learnt in school.. thats what we're encouraged to do..

you know, you'd never...f

burnout??

had my 1st dissection class:  bloody-nose rat and surgical guilt, and oh what a tiny cold cold heart he had..
oh but they were 'culled'. again with the careful choice of words to lighten the degreee of severity.. to make it seem like they deserved it. yeap, that would make me feel better..

bitter?
burnout?

i'm tired.
i'm joe's innocent faith.

on a lighter note, i remember having a pretty good week last week, apart from the one day i had to break open Ben's ribs and remove his spleen.
i remember nice songs that made me happy. i remember the wry smile i smiled when i heard Under pressure.
i remember reminding myself to add Summer Breeze to my songs for my funeral.. ah yes. makes me feel fine indeed.

but a burnout?? i sure hope to hell not..

but i am exhausted, i am Joe's impending collapse.f.

'a journey in harmony'.. or sth like that. least thats what the chinese named the plane that carried the torch. Look here, just because you dont have a chinese word for irony(not one that i know of at least) doesn't mean it doesn't exist lor..

if you really think about it, even the prettiest flowers are just the genitals of another species of organisms.. so yeah, go ahead. Stop and smell the roses..

f

ok, top 5 track ten songs?
No Surprises (yeah, no surprises there)
Sun King
disintegration
take the veil cerpin taxt
noise and kisses?

well alright then, i'm off now.. i've got shampoo in my eye... see ya later.f.

there's something about this place... something rather stifling, suffocating. something rather stale. its certainly alot easier to breathe in canberra, from what i remember.
i felt alot more at home, from what i remember. seemed like there was loads more to do there than here. ironically.

anyway, here's my top 5 songs for the autumn wind:
grapefruit moon
Last day of Summer(yeah i decided to change it. same album though..)
Saturday Sun
memorial
Flightless Bird,American Mouth

its getting cold here.
ah well..til then.f.

iron and wine was amazing. lap steels in harmony with violins, psyche drums and percussions and bass.. and Beam's dreamy vocals and rich poetry. thanks bro..

i'd love to tell you more, but the 1st rule is that you don't talk about... : i looked into my microscope today. and no i wasn't observiing the beautiful, unique snowflakes men think they are. cells that split only because they're sole purpose in life was to. cells that have turned hollow with age. Do look out for any of these in your community.

thats it for now.. i've had a long day.. night..f.

so herre we are all over again.
there's this feeling you get when you're walk past a bar down your street and stop outside it just because the cd playing over the sound system put you in a safe place,literally. its a chilly yet warm homely feeling, i cant quite explain.. i couldnt help but stand outside just basking in the warm music until they started wondering if i was going to buy a drink or not. but of course i wasn;t.

anyway, FoD's got a couple new shit out. Old man's new toy. happy songs for sappy people. please leave a comment.  much appreciated

so people are saying that i wont think so much about home once school kicks in, once the workload piles up. But let;s face it, when the workload piles up, doesn't the tired heart go in search for a place of comfort, a safe place? and where else would it find one but..

f.